For the first time since I've moved to northern Saskatchewan I feel truly victimized.
Last night, close to midnight, I heard this really loud bang that made myself and my cat jump literally off the couch. Usually when I hear noises I look outside to make sure that everything is copacetic but the fear I felt last night kept me glued to the couch. This morning when I woke up I went through my usual routine and geared myself up for an afternoon at the school. What I found when I left the house had me in tears; in fact it still has me in tears. My driver's side window was shattered and the rock that shattered it was thrown with such force it destroyed the inside of the passenger's side door. It was obvious the vandals were looking for some treasures but alas there was nothing to steal. I knew that I wasn't immune to the vandalism that runs rampant in this town but to actually become a victim of it frightens me and angers me. This act of violence was way too close to home and I do not feel safe in the one place where I should feel the safest.
And now I feel torn ... do I stay in a place where I do not feel safe just because it is here I have a job? Do I go home where I ultimately feel the safest but I have no source of income? Is financial security more important than one's right to be safe in their environment and maintain a peaceful state of mind?
Someone please tell me ... what should I do?
As scary and horrible as this incident has been (and it was very scary and very horrible!) it doesn't necessarily mean you'd be any safer here. In fact, here you'd be just as likely to be mugged for your phone and iPod while walking on a seemingly peaceful street! Violence is everywhere and bad things happen to good people. I know you no longer feel safe there but coming back here is not the answer. Be brave and stick it out--you're doing important work there and those kids need you. The people who live in that community don't have the luxury of leaving when the going gets tough--here's your chance to show them you're in it for the long haul and that you won't be bullied by a few cowardly bad apples.
ReplyDeleteHaving said all that, whatever you decide we all support you. I've been burglarized twice and I know how powerless it makes you feel when you're violated like that. I don't blame you for wanting to come home, back to a place where you feel safe and secure. But remember that security is an illusion--real security comes from standing up to your fears and facing them on your own terms.
Dude, I can totally relate to that feeling. Last June, I woke up at 4am to a man standing at the end of my bed. He had entered my apartment without 'breaking' in because I forgot to lock the door when I went to bed. At the time, I actually thought I felt okay about it. It turned out that this man lives in my building (there are only 7 apartments here and it's only one floor, so he lives just down the hall. I had only seen him once before this incident). Since then, I've seen him in the hallway a few times (recently) and it made me realize just how unsafe I feel here. I can't afford to move, so I am stuck here. Every night I jump at every noise, I check that my door is locked at least 5 times before I go to bed, When I hear this neighbour walking down the hall in his heavy work boots, I feel scared and unsafe, when I run into him in the hallway, my heart races.
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible to feel scared and unsafe and if you feel that it is affecting you, you should deal with it. If that means moving, then that what you have to do. As you process it before making a decision, you may start to feel safer and more secure with the passage of time and the ability to talk about this incident with others who live in La Loche as well (and may have experienced something similar).
Either way, good luck and be safe.