Meat Loaf

I've been craving my mom's meat loaf.  I've been waiting now for almost 2 months for my amazingly prompt mother to email me her recipe.  I threatened to write an embarrassing blog if she didn't email it to me soon, thus, the reason for tonight's blog.  I implore anyone and everyone who reads this and who know my lovely mother to harass her until she sends me her recipe.  Also, if you have a recipe which you think could rival my mother's I ask you to pass it along to me.  Winter = comfort food = meat loaf!  

Lost Cat!

For those of you who have been to my house or seen the pictures you know that it is very small. There are very few places for my darling kitty cat, Chloe, to hide. Today, after waking from a short nap, I couldn't find her. The door to my bedroom was shut but still I looked under the bed, in the closet, and behind all dressers. No cat. The spare room door was shut, yet, I looked under the bed, in the closet, behind the desk and dresser. No cat! The bathroom door was shut; however, I felt the need to check. NO CAT! I looked all over the main room and in all crooks and crannies and I truly began to worry. I started to second guess myself, wondering if she had gotten outside without me knowing. Worried that she was out in the wild where she would be no match for the wild dogs and massive ravens I started to get my outside gear on prepared to go searching. That is when I saw it ... a quick movement where there should be no movement at all. Where did I find her?

29 Days

Well, the countdown is officially on - 29 days from now I will be flying home for the holiday season. I'm already making plans and trying to figure out how I am going to fit everything and everyone in while trying to experience some relaxation. On the agenda so far: skiing with my cousin, dress shopping for Maggie's wedding (how many days?), trip to London to see Pegster, New Years party at the RGI with the best family and friends ever, and recovering from New Years party. Of course enjoying the benefits of city life, such as, restaurants, shopping, and movies will also be part of the agenda. Despite the worry of fitting it all in I still cannot wait to get home to see everyone and experience the feeling of 'home'. Bring on the holidays!

Remembrance

Today was Remembrance Day ... a day set aside each year to ... remember ...

I'm teaching Elie Wiesel's novel 'Night' in my grade 12 class. For those of you who haven't read it, I highly recommend you run out right now, find yourself a copy, and sit down and spend the few hours it takes to read it.

The Holocaust. Fifteen year old Jewish boy. Hitler. Auschwitz. Devastation. Horrendous crimes. Your heart will break and you will shed a few tears.

It's amazing how many of my students have no idea what The Holocaust is ... or was. We talk about remembering but many of the students at Dene high don't know what they are remembering. They haven't been taught about World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Darfur, Rwanda, etc. It's not that they aren't interested because they are ... we (the teachers) just haven't taken the time to teach them. I'm at a crossroads. I'm beginning to believe that it's more important, or at least just as important, to teach novels like 'Night' that have some real historical significance. Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Browning, the Bronte sisters ... they all still have their place, just not necessarily here. Teachers complain that the students just aren't interested, but perhaps we're just not giving them material to be interested in.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly .... I mean .... Just the Bad!

For the first time since I've moved to northern Saskatchewan I feel truly victimized.

Last night, close to midnight, I heard this really loud bang that made myself and my cat jump literally off the couch. Usually when I hear noises I look outside to make sure that everything is copacetic but the fear I felt last night kept me glued to the couch. This morning when I woke up I went through my usual routine and geared myself up for an afternoon at the school. What I found when I left the house had me in tears; in fact it still has me in tears. My driver's side window was shattered and the rock that shattered it was thrown with such force it destroyed the inside of the passenger's side door. It was obvious the vandals were looking for some treasures but alas there was nothing to steal. I knew that I wasn't immune to the vandalism that runs rampant in this town but to actually become a victim of it frightens me and angers me. This act of violence was way too close to home and I do not feel safe in the one place where I should feel the safest.

And now I feel torn ... do I stay in a place where I do not feel safe just because it is here I have a job? Do I go home where I ultimately feel the safest but I have no source of income? Is financial security more important than one's right to be safe in their environment and maintain a peaceful state of mind?

Someone please tell me ... what should I do?

"Solidarity"

It's official - I'm hooked!

Tony Danza's show was on tonight and much like last week I found myself watching it. This week's episode was especially interesting. Mr. Danza found himself in the midst of teenage angst and without an outlet to release said teenage angst the outcome was chaos and turmoil. Simply put: teenagers were fighting with one another. I actually found myself a little jealous of the policies in place at this school. If students are caught misbehaving - fighting verbally and physically - they meet with a mediating team. The mediating team consists of a staff member, whose only job it is to mediate when problems arise, and a teacher (in this case, Mr. Danza). They sign a contract stating that they participated in the mediation. If they get into trouble again more serious consequences occur beginning with suspension. The episode tonight focused on Mr. Danza's desire to instill positive behavior in his students. Mr. Danza also tried very hard to let his students know that he understands and that he does, in fact, care. Tonight's show was definitely interesting but it was what he said at the very end of the episode that literally made me snap my head up from my computer and look up at the television screen. It was like I was hearing my own words spoken in a husky Italian accent. He said . . . "I'm not sure they want you to care." Interesting ...

"Teach"

I watched Tony Danza's new show tonight called "Teach". The premise of this new reality television show is this: Tony Danza goes back to school to teach English to high school students. I have to be honest, it was really reassuring to watch him struggle in the classroom. It was hard not to compare his experiences with my own. Struggling with classroom management. Talking too much to students who were not listening. Fighting for student engagement. Fear of failing the kids. At one point in the show; however, Tony Danza "hooks" the students. After all of the struggle he sees some success. Watching Tony Danza's struggles and successes made me appreciate and cherish my own. It's corny, I know.

When I first started watching the show I thought ... "OMG" ... this may not be good for teachers. The show did; however, portray the tremendous devotion and hard work, extra hours, and all the time teachers take in their planning for the students. Most importantly, it showed how much teachers CARE about their students. I've only watched one episode so far but I think I'm hooked. I feel compelled to watch Tony Danza's teaching adventure. I'll keep you posted.

Things you do NOT say/tell/ask your teacher!

This year I've created an anchor chart entitled: "Things you do not say/tell/ask your teacher!" Since the beginning of the school year I have had many students say/tell/ask inappropriate things or questions. Often I would say: "that is something your teacher does not need or want to know." or "You should really reconsider saying that in front of your teacher." or "That is an inappropriate question to ask your teacher." Truthfully, many of the statements or questions are quite funny and really do put a smile on my face. That does not; however, provide an excuse to be inappropriate. I decided to have an anchor chart in my room to display the many inappropriate things students say to me or in front of me. It has provided me many smiles and the students actually look forward to seeing if anything new has been added.

The following is what has made it to the chart thus far:
1. Have you ever kissed an Asian man?
2. I left to go smoke dope.
3. Did you get loaded?
4. Can you tell me why I'm still sitting here? (This is one of my personal favorites.)
5. We made a deal when he tried to make me chug whiskey! (BTW: the deal was to graduate high school ... although I do not condone drinking I am impressed that they are pushing each other to finish school!)
6. "F" school (said in a joking way, of course).

Never a dull moment!

I Wish

I'm not entirely sure why I haven't written much lately. Well ... that's not exactly true. The honest truth is that I just don't feel inspired. I feel like I have nothing worthy or interesting to say. Even now I find myself typing and deleting over and over again. Perhaps I'm just not motivated. I don't want to write about work but besides my job I have nothing to say. It seems like the job has pretty much consumed my life lately and it has left no room for anything else. When I'm not teaching I'm lesson planning. When I'm not lesson planning I'm unit planning. And when I'm not unit planning I'm agonizing over everything else I have to worry about: discipline plans, year plans, growth plans, behaviour plans, etc., etc., etc. Can anyone tell me when it will end?

I went to a friend's tonight for some relaxation. It was lots of fun; Rockband can cure anything. Our conversation; however, frequently seemed to drift back to work ... specifically problems at work. Why have I let the problems and the negativity affect me so greatly? Sometimes I wish that I could let those problems and the negative aspects of the job just fade away. I wish I had the capacity to not let them eat away at me. I wish I had the capability to just not care. I find that I've been wishing a lot lately. I wish, I wish, I wish ....

Something

I had a conversation with my mother tonight and she lovingly reminded me that I haven't written a blog post in over a month. I'm not sure if it's because I've been too busy, I haven't had anything to say, or because I was taught that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Regardless of the reason, I figured it was time to say .... something.

This past month has been absolutely crazy. I've been spending most evenings and weekends at the school completing unnecessary ... I mean ... necessary paperwork. If I'm not at the school I'm at home still working on anything and everything school related. Sometimes I find myself questioning this career move. Don't get me wrong, I love being in the classroom and I get really excited when I'm doing my thing. I guess I just don't like all the stress, anxiety, and tension that has taken over my life lately.

I suppose this is what the start of the year is like. In a few months it will settle down and I'll be able to get some sleep.

I will tell you that I've noticed a huge difference in my students. Not all of them. Some students still refuse to .. well .. act like students. I can't help them learn until they decide that they want to learn.

But the others ... it's like a total transformation. I still have behavioural issues that I need to deal with on a daily basis but it's not the same. I'm really enjoying the learning process this year. The material is great and most students are really learning something. What really gets me is to see students who fought me on every level last year turn around and become model students or almost model students. :) It's truly amazing.

I guess it's all worth it.

Little sleep equals big rewards. At least I can say I put all my effort and my heart into my job ... and ... not too many people can say that.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

It is amazing how fast time flies. I've had an amazing summer spending time with family and friends and I'm sad to see it come to an end. My time has definitely been jam-packed and I'm leaving with many memories that will help me through the coming year. Although I had the opportunity to do many fun things (Canada's Wonderland, The Toronto Zoo, Bon Jovi & Kid Rock Concert, Rock of Ages), it is the time I spent with everyone that I will truly cherish. Thanks for an awesome summer!!

HOME!

I'm home! I've been back in Stratford for 2 days and I already feel rejuvenated. Home and family are an awesome healing power.

My trip back with Maggie was mostly uneventful but incredibly enjoyable. It was really nice to spend some alone time with my cousin and re-connect. It has been a long time since we've had a chance to talk and enjoy each others company so thoroughly. We shared many laughs and created many memories that will put a smile on my face for years to come. We decided to make a list of things and animals we saw along our journey. Here is that list:

1 live dear
Many (too many) dead dear
1 prairie dog
1 turkey vulture
7 trains (moving)
Lots and lots of road kill
Lots and lots of tire pieces
16 abandoned cars

We traveled through 3 provinces and 6 states. We laughed, we cried (due to laughter), we prayed for our lives (Chicago was crazy). All in all, it was an excellent adventure with one of my favorite cousins and I will cherish our time together forever. Thank you, Maggie, for being an excellent travel companion.

"Together, we will dream, believe, strive, and succeed!"

I have officially survived my first year of teaching!

It seems like just yesterday I was writing a blog describing my first day/week of teaching and now .... it's over ... for the summer. It's amazing how much I learned in just one year. Although at times difficult, I would not change a thing from this past year. It has all made me a better teacher and a better person.

Thursday night was graduation. One of my students said to me, "Ms. Greensides, now that the year is over I can tell you ... you really are a good teacher. I learned a lot from you about English and stuff." I had to hold back my tears.

A teacher's first year is the toughest ... it can make them or break them. What I realized is that this is truly what I was meant to do. I was born to be in the classroom. I was born to be a teacher.

Room 131

Today I cleaned my classroom. I took everything down off the walls. I emptied my desk and I cleared my book shelves. I then piled it all into my cabinets for safe keeping over the summer. It's amazing how different a classroom looks once you have stripped away all of the learning. All you are left with is an empty shell. I found myself looking around at the blank walls and the empty space and I couldn't help but imagine what it will look like next year. I'm already taking mental notes of how I'm going to decorate and how I will attempt to get the students' attention. I also couldn't help but reflect on the past year. Before I left for the day, I stood at the doorway peering into the classroom and I was remembering what I was thinking and how I felt eleven months ago when I first stepped into the room. I remember feeling a tad overwhelmed (OK, more then a tad), scared, and hopeful. Today, I felt proud, excited, and ... hopeful. My first year of teaching is coming to an end and although at times it felt unbearably difficult ... I survived and my students survived. Together we learned some valuable lessons ... some curriculum based and some not. We shared laughter, anger, frustration, excitement, and shed a few tears. So, today I cleaned my classroom. The walls are bare and the shelves are empty ... but ... the memories that I made will forever linger.

Girls Day Out

Yesterday I went to P.A. Some people might think that we are crazy ... driving five hours each way is not something most people will do just to get away. It was; however, totally worth it. Here is a breakdown of my Saturday:

*woke up at 5:21am
*picked up at 6:15am
*drove to P.A. Arrived at 11:00am
*visited the liquor store ... stocked up on necessary liquids to survive the next 2 weeks
*ate Wendy's = delicious!
*watched movie: "Sex in the City 2" = fantastic .. perfect "Girls Day Out" movie
*went to Shopper's Drug Mart ... shopped
*went to Safeway ... shopped. Picked up my favorite pickles ... seriously the best pickles in the world.
*stopped at Tim Horton's
*drove back to La Loche ... arrived at 10:00pm

This was an absolutely fantastic day with the girls! It was a much needed de-stresser at the end of the year and provided me with what I need to get through the next couple of weeks. Thank you ladies for the wonderful conversation and the many many laughs.

Superstars in La Loche

I've been focusing too much lately on the negative. No students or hardly any students in the classroom. Too many "F"'s on my student roster. Students sleeping, not working. But . . . today . . . something changed. I teach a block class which means I teach a class for two periods a day and I only have them for 1/4 of the year. The class began in April after we returned from our Easter Break. During the last month and a half these students have been working their butts off. I do only get 4-5 students out of 20ish on my class list but those 4-5 students work hard every day. They are one of the only classes who have actually handed assignments in on time and they have put so much effort into the work they complete. I hear often "Ms. Greensides, this is so hard!" I always reply "it's not suppose to be easy." Today, a pretty big assignment was due ... and ... I got three handed in. This may not seem like a big deal but it is a HUGE deal!! Despite the attendance issues, despite the lack of effort from some students, and despite some of the hardships ... this class makes it all worth it. They are proof that simply showing up and doing the work, even when it's hard, can produce amazing results. They are superstars!

The Wonders of a Power Outage

Today the power went out. In fact, it was already out when I finally dragged myself out of bed this morning. I opened my eyes and turned over towards the alarm clock, which happens to be a daily ritual, only to realize that there were no burning red numbers telling me what time of day it was. On any other day this might put me in a state of alarm ... but not today. I felt a sense of relief ... perhaps not being dictated by time relieved a sense of pressure that has lately taken over my life. I leisurely made my way out of the bedroom, texted some friends to ensure that I was not the only one "suffering" from the loss of power, found my flashlight and had a refreshing shower. After finishing the daily routine of making myself somewhat presentable, a wave of panic momentarily flashed through me. What would I do without power? I cannot cook or bake. I cannot watch T.V. I cannot use the Internet. What on earth will I do with myself. With only a moment's hesitation, I quickly found my way to my bedroom. No, I did not hide back under the covers. I picked up a book that had been calling my name. Yes, I read a book. It's now early afternoon and the power is back on. I have set the book down long enough to re-set the clocks, begin a load of laundry, check my email, and write this blog. I fight the temptation to turn the television on or to play a computer game but the power of the book and it's dynamic characters and plot twists and turns win me over. Although the power outage has undoubtedly inconvenienced many, it was for me a saving grace. It made me take a step back, away from all the "conveniences" technology has to offer, and indulge in a good book .... words on a page and my own imagination has been my sole entertainment ... what a concept!

Home Sweet Home

15 teaching days + 19 non-teaching days + 3 days until Maggie arrives in Saskatoon + 3 traveling days = 40 days until I'm home

It's a beautiful day here in La Loche; the sun is shining and the temperature is perfect. It's a great day for a road trip, thus, I can't help but think about the one I'll be on in 37 days. Although the road trip will technically begin the day I leave La Loche the true fun will not commence until my cousin Maggie arrives in Saskatoon. I've been checking mapquest and CAA's trip tik to figure out the best route home. Really it'll all come down to which way Suzy, our GPS guide, will take us. The route doesn't even matter. What matters is the wonderful company I will have with me and the final destination. My excitement is definitely building ... only 40 days ... just 40 days ...

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

To honour a mother truly is to honour her every day ... not just May 9. To truly honour a mother is to appreciate all that she does and all that she sacrifices. Sleepless nights - from adolescence throughout adulthood - lost independence - shared pain and heartbreak and constant reassurances. To honour a mother is to tell her everyday how much you love her and cherish her, respect her and value her. Continue to learn from her as her wisdom does not depreciate. To truly honour a mother takes more then flowers, chocolates, and fancy Hallmark cards. Remember, our actions speak louder then words.

"Mother's Smile"

There never was a fonder smile
than mother's smile, no softer touch
than mother's touch. So sleep awhile
and know she loves you more than "much."

So more than "much," much more than "all."
Though tender words, these do not speak
of love at all, nor how we fall
and mother's there, nor how we reach

from nightmares in the ticking night
and she is there to hold us tight.

There never was a stronger back
than father's back, that held our weight
and lifted us, when we were small,
and bore us till we reached the gate,

then held our hands that first bright mile
till we could run, and did, and flew.
But, oh, a mother's tender smile
will leap and follow after you!

By: Michael Burch

The Road Not Taken

I’ve been working on my poetry units for my classes and I keep thinking about this poem by Robert Frost.  I’ve been doing much reflecting on my decisions this past year, and perhaps that has prompted my sudden interest.  Perhaps it speaks to me because I’m at a point in my life where I need to choose a road or path to follow.  Perhaps I just appreciate its symbolism and message.  Maybe I like it for no particular reason at all.  Whatever the explanation, I feel like I need to share it; please enjoy . . . “The Road Not Taken.”

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Ode to Double Chocolate Chip Cookies

Another long awaited update. 

I've had the best week ever (I hope I don't jinx it since I still have one day to go).  I thought I discovered the secret on Monday ... bribing my students with double chocolate chip cookies ... but Tuesday - Thursday has progressed fairly well without the cookies.  Maybe my students are actually enjoying the content or perhaps they're tired of hearing me gripe about taking responsibility for their own learning.  They are paying attention, finishing their work, and doing the work fairly well.  Numbers are down, which means I have very few students in class, but at least they're participating.  I wish the entire year had been like this week and I hope the rest of the year (27 teaching days) progress in the same manner.  It's weeks like this that remind me why I became a teacher.  

Much Needed Update

It is definitely time to give an update.  I am amazed at how fast time flies.  It has been over a month since my last post and yet it doesn't quite feel like a month has gone by.

During the last month my school has hosted the Northern Lights Junior Games.  It was quite a week and I felt extremely proud to be a part of such an event.  The students and coaches from every school put their heart and soul into each sporting, cultural, and fine arts performance.  It was an extremely tiring week but it was definitely worth it.

Currently, I am on my April break.  I'm off for the next 12 days and I'm counting down the hours and minutes until I meet up with my family in Sunny Florida.  As I type this, their journey has already begun.  They are driving down south and all I can think of is how much I wish I was with them.  Only two more days.

Once I'm back .... only 2 1/2 months and I'll be home for the summer and I'm sure the time will just fly by!!

Ode to Mothers

I just finished catching up on some reading.  Some friends of mine too have blogs and it has been awhile since I have read them.  I really enjoy reading these blogs as they help me feel connected to friends who are now so far away.  When I read their thoughts and experiences or see their photos I don't feel quite so detached from that part of my life . . . our friendship. 

It was one blog specifically that really touched me.  My friend Stacy lost her mother to cancer recently and she shared her speech/eulogy on her blog.  While I was reading it I could not help but think about my own mother who, like Stacy's mother had, has surpassed the 10 year mark of being cancer free.  Stacy writes, "our Mom will be remembered not for having had cancer, but for how she lived with it--how she never lost her positivity, her courage or her strength."  This statement really struck me . . . it is how I too remember my mother's battle.  Thankfully, my mother is still with me and I remember every day how quickly she could be taken away and I appreciate every moment, every phone call, and every skype date that we have together.  To my friend Stacy, I am very sorry for your loss and I'm even more sorry that I could not be there to be a shoulder for you to lean on. 

To my mother . . . I love you!

Round 2

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last blog.  Where does the time go?  So much has happened in the past 30 some days .... some things might bore you if I insist on writing them here ... other things would astonish and shock you ... of course I'll keep those to myself as well. 

I will let you know that I'm starting round 2 tomorrow in the classroom.  The new semester begins and I would be lying if I did not admit to my nerves and uncertainties.  For two of my classes I will be blessed with the presence of the same kids ... it will be nice to continue building on the rapport and trust from last semester.  My other two classes; however, consist of a brand new batch of kids.  It's kinda like the beginning of the year all over again.  Having to learn more names.  Establishing rules and procedures within my classroom.  Building rapport.  I wish I could snap my fingers and all the hard work of gaining the trust of this new batch of kids would be . . .  well . . . there's no use in wishful thinking.  Tomorrow will be a great day.  Yes . . . a great day!